what to do...

It has been only one week and three days since Jen returned to work and I take the reigns of house mother. The part of holding Belen and talking to her is the easiest and most rewarding. There is an eternal bond that I feel each moment that I hold my precious daughter and with each moment that I hold her near to my heart, I can't help to visualize what the future has already reserved for us.

This may sound a bit corny but I see her attending prom and walking down an aisle wearing a beautiful white gown and she can barely lift her tiny chest off the pillow when she is doing "tummy time." It is silly to think these thoughts but I just can't help myself when these scary moments immerse into my mind. Even more frightening was the thought that one day I will be a grandpa to Belen's children. What am I thinking?

I know that when these moments actually become a reality I will be attending to her very needs and I will be there to advise her, support her and simply love her; so in fact, those scary moments will seize to exist and will be replaced by tears of joy. Am I really saying all this "girly" stuff. Being a "Stay Home Parent" is bringing out the feminine side in me. These are the thoughts I think stay home moms think about their precious babies or daughters, for that matter.

Getting back to the reality of what it literally means to stay at home and provide love, care and nourishment for my little one is the purpose of my report. I aim to tell hour by hour, minute by minute reflections of daddy/daughter moments and what I am doing to keep my sanity. Fact is, there is nothing more special and more meaningful than to hold my baby girl next to my chest and whisper that I love her every chance that I get.

Each day begins at at exactly midnight and it ends at midnight. This part of life is one that has really caught me by surprise because I honestly did not understand what the entire world was telling me when they were telling me that my life was going to change. Belen has brought an immense amount of change to my life and I honestly do not know what to do next every time I place her down to sleep for 2 to 3 hours.

My life has now been broken down to spurts of 2 to 3 hours of doing chores around the house, front or backyard fixer uppers, driving to see the doctor, driving to the tire store to get the tires of our vehicle rotated and balanced, and walking around the mall as we wait for a phone call stating that the tires are balanced and it's time to stop browsing around shops of over priced baby clothes so that we can get back in the vehicle and make it home in time to start the 2 to 3 hours home rituals and unexpected baby calls.

If that just felt like a long sentence it is because that is exactly what my life is becoming and I have to do it all within 2 to 3 hours at a time. Therefore, I have to get as much done as I possibly can before I have to stop everything so that I can change Belen's diaper, hold her in my arms and warm her next 2 to 4 ounces of mommy milk so that I can place her down and rush through the next 2 to 3 hours of allowed time.

In fact, I need to get off this computer right now and go tend to one of those unexpected baby calls. I guess it's time for a short pc break and time for Belen. bbs.