Saturday morning

The three of us are watching a movie. In reality, Belen is sleeping on Jen's shoulders. She was a bit cranky earlier but she has finally gained some sleep.

Last night, after the Rangers beat the Yankees in game 6 of the AL Championship, the three of us drove to the Flores's and watched a movie.

Mocha is wanting to crowd Jen as Jen rests her back on the couch that I'm sitting on. Belen woke up. I watched the first part of this movie last night but then I fell asleep.

I woke up early this morning around 630am. I walked into the garage to check on the rat trap. (no rat) I said my morning prayer then I read part of this month's Ensign. Around 700am, I heard Belen wake up. I placed some water in the microwave to heat up so that I could heat up her milk.

I changed Belen's diaper then I placed her next to mommy. I prepared Belen some sweet potato and after mommy finished feeding her, I brought some milk. When Belen finished eating, Jen fixed us some French toast; we enjoyed the yummy toast and enjoyed watching Belen attempt to eat finger foods(chredded cheese) for the first time.

I began watching the TX/Iowa game but Jen insisted that I finish watching the movie(The Backup Plan) with her and Belen. I'm recording the game.

I love Jen. I love Belen. I love my life. even if I am unemployed and sometimes feel like a failure...

Evolution of Belen

These images were taken on: Feb 23, March 12 and April 01.

Evolution of Belen

Feeding Belen

I fed Belen rice cereal for the first time. It has been great being a daddy and I hope that there will be many more great days ahead. Today at church, during the third hour, after I fed Belen, we sat on the couch in the lobby and both took a nap. Brother Cook woke me up.
We spent the day at home; we watched Mission Impossible II (Jen and I started watching part I last night, but both fell asleep. We finished watching part I today) and are now watching the tail end of the Emmy's. I read an article about a bishop shot dead in Visalia. That is some sad news.

What is going on with us? Jen started working last week. Belen and I are staying home; We have been working on the Robarts home. We are remodeling their kitchen. The front part of the kitchen sink, the countertop was deteriorated, the floor in front of the sink was sinking in, and the plywood sub-floor was scraping off. Overal, the kitchen seemed like it was falling apart.

We spent Thursday demolishing the kitchen. Friday we continued on the work; We framed in the morning and in the afternoon, we spent time at Home Depot gathering material. Sister Robarts, her son David, Belen and I drove to the ReStore to look for a kitchen sink. There were several sinks there, but none were to her liking. They enjoyed the tour of the place, were amazed by the variety of materials and extremely impressed with the low prices. They will return at a later date for more shopping.

This summer, Jen, Belen and I travelled to Clearlake CA and spent time with the Dowds. One hot Friday afternoon, we rented a boat for three hours and simply had an awesome time in the middle of the lake. We spent time at Jen's parents, her grandparents in Hyampom CA and camped with friends Union Valley Resevoir. The highlight of our camping trip was the surprise visit from a bear with a sweet tooth.

Yesterday, we visited Bannister Park and met up with Ben Kenealy and his family. He's the Elder's Quorum President. It is a shame that only us two families participated in the 3rd Annual Hike.

Belen is growing so much. On her last stop at the doctor's office, the 9th of this month, she weighed 15.6 lbs and measured 24 inches long. She is in great health. She smiles and laughs often. Her diet consists of 6 to 8 oz of formula, she poops and pees on a normal routine, takes naps about an hour or two after each meal and at night, Belen will sleep a good eight hours per night. She will wake up around 1 am, but a simple caressing and quiet whisper will soothe her back to sleep.

The past two weeks she has been sleeping in her own crib. We have been laying her in her own crib since we last visited the doctor. A couple of times, I woke up in the middle of the night to tend to her. For the most part, she sleeps through the night. Jen puts her to bed before 9pm and she will sleep well til about 6 or 7. We will usually wake her up before 7am, change her and feed her. She is doing great.

Jen and I are so blessed. I am amazed with Belen's growth and I simply love having her. I enjoy having her sleeping on my chest. She will cling on to me and will sleep comfortably. She simply takes my breath away.

Tuesday, June 1st 2010

Belen and I spent the day working. I take her to work with me everyonceinawhile; she stays on the car-seat and I carry her all over the place. Today, we stopped at Noel Cantillo's home. We met up w/ the sub-contractor whom I hired to do the foundation and framing on the home addition.

She stayed at Noel's while I drove to the building department and fence company. I am working on obtaining a building permit for the room addition at Noel's home. I got back around 10:30 am, then I fed Belen. Most of the times, before she eats, she will get a diaper change.

Belen and I took a nap at Noel's and around 11:30 ish, we drove to the store to get bread at SaveMart. We got back home, I ate a sandwich then we drove to a fence company to get an estimate on fence material for Susie Castillo's home.

Lately, I have been busy with getting estimates for small projects. Taiko and Susie have kept me busy at their homes with landscaping projects. At the moment, each have an estimate which I hope will turn into work. I will be juggling those smaller projects, if they are accepted, while I project manage and work at Noel's home. Time has become very valuable and I am having to manage it as best as possible.

I am amazed with my daughter. Having her with me is a delight. Her company is priceless. When I have an opportunity to hold her, I simply want to hold her as close to me as possible and simply want to hold her forever. Knowing that that is not possible, I soon find myself placing her back inside her car seat.

Jen works most of the day. She wakes up around 5:30am, and depending on Belen's needs, she will either breastfeed Belen or pump. She leaves for work around 7am and is home by 5pm. Today, I woke up around 6am and fed Belen. She is starting to eat around 5ounces per meal(every 3-4hours) then she will go back to sleep. During the day, she will stay awake for an hour or two before she decides to fall asleep.

We are learning to adept to having Belen home and we simply love having her here.

sleeping on my arms

priceless.

a note from mommy

After seeing all the posts Lucio has written, I thought I better write something! I am not as verbose as he, so we'll see how long this gets...

It's Sunday and Belen and I are home while dad is working. Unfortunately he has to work most Sundays now, but at least he has some work. Belen is making all kinds of weird noises, but I'm pretty sure she is still sleeping. Oreo and Mocha are outside sunning themselves. I offered them a chance to come inside, but apparently they prefer sitting in the dirt catching some sun. It is a lovely day outside. If Oreo were better on the leash, I'd put Belen in the baby carrier and take them for a walk. Yesterday Lucio took them to the dog park and I took the baby over to walk around. I put her in the baby bjorn thing...it's nice and she seemed to like it. Mocha is a pretty good frisbee catcher except that she doesn't bring them back to you.

I have been back to work for 3 weeks now. The time has flown by. I went back to work while Belen was still in the NICU, which kinda stunk but was probably a good thing since I didn't have a chance to feel guilty about leaving her for work. And now that she's home, I still don't feel that guilty cause I know that Lucio is doing a great job taking care of her. In fact, I wonder if I could handle staying home all day taking care of her. Last weekend, when Lucio was at work and it was just me and the baby, I was getting a little frustrated, tired, lonely... I suppose if I were at home, we would figure out our routine and it would be alright.

School is ok. I'm grateful that I still have a student teacher (Marlaina) working with me to teach first period. That gives me time to do other work and then I teach 2nd and 4th periods. 2nd is great, 4th is crazy. And Marlaina is more than a student...she is capable of taking over the classes when I'm not there, which is what she did while I was out on leave. The best thing about school: we'll be done in about 6 weeks. =)

I am just starting to get used to this mommy thing. It's so weird...I'm a mom. yikes! I love my little Belen. I love to hold her and kiss her and feel her little fingers around one of mine. She is a cutie! Weighing in at 8 lb 1 oz as of Friday 4/23, she is quickly gaining. She eats a lot and consequently goes potty a lot. Last night she woke up about 2 am. I went to pick her up. When I sat back on the bed I felt something wet on her leg. Pee, I thought, but then I smelled my fingers and it was poo! Then I looked at my arm...a big poo glob! I woke up Lucio so he could wipe me off then I wiped Belen off, put a clean pj on her and fed her. She slept until about 5:30 and I fed her again.

We went to church for the first time altogether today. I had to go to the mommy room and change Belen-another big poop that almost leaked. Then I fed her. I listened to all the talks from in there.

When I put Belen to sleep around 12:30 this afternoon she had a full belly. When I went to check on her a few minutes later I found her belly contents all over the cradle mattress and on the floor. Projectile vomiting had occurred. I quickly picked her up and wiped her off 'cause her head had been sitting in that pool of nastiness. She was tired after that, but didn't want to sleep by herself, so she slept on my stomach/lap with the help of the boppy pillow (love that thing) while I slept too. Now that she's been in her bed for a while, she's starting to wake up and I'm gonna have to get off the computer.

2 months

The following are images of Belen taken on April 9th, 2010, two months after she was born. The pics were snapshots taken from Belen's Flip video camera. Jen and I were at the hospital with her on this day. We were actually going to bring her home on that day, but the doctor insisted that she get her first three immunizations and spend another day at the hospital before she could be released from the NICU.

1 month

The following are images of Belen taken on March 9th, 2010, one month after she was born. Jen and I were at the hospital with her on this very special day.

Belen Time

12:00 midnight - Either Jen feeds Belen via breastfeed or I feed her from Jen's breast milk supply.
2:30 am - Belen has been waking around this time and Jen feeds her for about five to ten minutes.
12:00 - 4:00 am Belen usually sleeps, unless she is being a cranky pants at which time Jen or I administer to her needs.
4:00 am - I wake up finding Jen feeding Belen so I go back to bed.
5:00 am - Jen asks me to help her with Belen. Jen will usually have a bottle of about 2 oz milk ready for Belen. Since Belen arrived home, I have been waking up around this time to feed her.

This is a pivotal time for Belen and I because if I do not get her to fall asleep before 6 am, she will be awake on the hour till about 9 am. I have found that feeding her in the living room, as we both relax on the couch works best. After she finishes with the first 2 ounces, I observe to see if she is done. If I feel that she is not full, I will warm her up a couple more ounces.

I will burp her and hold her on my chest for about fifteen minutes, then she falls asleep and will pretty much sleep until 8:00 am. This is typical after each meal.

8:00 am - This time of the day Belen is usually real good at maintaining her daily routine. I begin by changing her diaper which is immediately followed by a feeding. On occasion, I warm up her milk before I begin changing her diaper. This allows the milk to be ready as soon as I finish changing her. We typically go to the living room and spend about thirty minutes eating, burping and falling asleep.

12:00 pm - Belen will sleep until about noon and the cycle continues, again. There has been a couple of times when I had to wake her up so that she may eat. The information that I have read states that I should not allow her to go more than three hours before eating again. I don't let her sleep but I also don't shake her so that she may wake up. I find that changing her diaper gives her a boost in waking up.

My goal is to maintain a four hour routine, and Belen does very well for the first part of the day till about 4 pm. The routine of taking care of Belen is pretty straight forward. She sleeps for three hours, wakes up, gets a new diaper which obviously requires a wipe down of her privates then she will eat from 2 to 4 ounces of milk. I have given her as much as 5 ounces in one session, never more and most of the time she will take an average of three ounces.

Lately, Belen tends to shift into a 2 to 4 hour schedule from 4 pm till about midnight and sometimes as late as 1 am. I don't understand why she goes off into this weird schedule, but if you think about it, she does it on a daily basis that perhaps this is simply part of her routine. Jen and I have become accustomed to it, we record all her feedings and spoils and simply do our best to keep her on track towards a healthy feeding schedule.

I absolutely do not mind taking care of my baby girl. I have been pretty good about getting up early in the am, though there have been a couple of days when I would much rather stay in bed. When I am home alone with Belen, I will take a nap between 9 and 11 am to catch up on the previous night's wake up calls. Belen will begin waking up around 11:30 and by noon she is on her schedule.

Belen Times are not to the minute but they are real. There is a fifteen minute flux but the general time, "Belen Time" is consistent throughout the day. Furthermore, I have learned more about babies since Belen arrived home on the 10th of April, than I have done my entire life. I am thankful to my siblings' kids because I did not arrive to this point without any experience. Does that make any sense?

I am thankful to Heavenly Father for this blessing and I love my wife for her dedication, love and compassion. I love spending the day fulfilling my role as a father simply because I love my family. I can't believe that there is another body in our home and now there is three of us to fill this humble abode.

what to do...

It has been only one week and three days since Jen returned to work and I take the reigns of house mother. The part of holding Belen and talking to her is the easiest and most rewarding. There is an eternal bond that I feel each moment that I hold my precious daughter and with each moment that I hold her near to my heart, I can't help to visualize what the future has already reserved for us.

This may sound a bit corny but I see her attending prom and walking down an aisle wearing a beautiful white gown and she can barely lift her tiny chest off the pillow when she is doing "tummy time." It is silly to think these thoughts but I just can't help myself when these scary moments immerse into my mind. Even more frightening was the thought that one day I will be a grandpa to Belen's children. What am I thinking?

I know that when these moments actually become a reality I will be attending to her very needs and I will be there to advise her, support her and simply love her; so in fact, those scary moments will seize to exist and will be replaced by tears of joy. Am I really saying all this "girly" stuff. Being a "Stay Home Parent" is bringing out the feminine side in me. These are the thoughts I think stay home moms think about their precious babies or daughters, for that matter.

Getting back to the reality of what it literally means to stay at home and provide love, care and nourishment for my little one is the purpose of my report. I aim to tell hour by hour, minute by minute reflections of daddy/daughter moments and what I am doing to keep my sanity. Fact is, there is nothing more special and more meaningful than to hold my baby girl next to my chest and whisper that I love her every chance that I get.

Each day begins at at exactly midnight and it ends at midnight. This part of life is one that has really caught me by surprise because I honestly did not understand what the entire world was telling me when they were telling me that my life was going to change. Belen has brought an immense amount of change to my life and I honestly do not know what to do next every time I place her down to sleep for 2 to 3 hours.

My life has now been broken down to spurts of 2 to 3 hours of doing chores around the house, front or backyard fixer uppers, driving to see the doctor, driving to the tire store to get the tires of our vehicle rotated and balanced, and walking around the mall as we wait for a phone call stating that the tires are balanced and it's time to stop browsing around shops of over priced baby clothes so that we can get back in the vehicle and make it home in time to start the 2 to 3 hours home rituals and unexpected baby calls.

If that just felt like a long sentence it is because that is exactly what my life is becoming and I have to do it all within 2 to 3 hours at a time. Therefore, I have to get as much done as I possibly can before I have to stop everything so that I can change Belen's diaper, hold her in my arms and warm her next 2 to 4 ounces of mommy milk so that I can place her down and rush through the next 2 to 3 hours of allowed time.

In fact, I need to get off this computer right now and go tend to one of those unexpected baby calls. I guess it's time for a short pc break and time for Belen. bbs.

getting home ready...

actually, I was getting rid of about a ton of dirt that I dug out so that I could pour a slab on our backyard patio about a month ago. yeah, NOT fun at all.

Jen and I are waiting for a car seat bed which we ordered about a week ago so that we can bring our daughter home. It is scheduled to arrive by 4:30 pm. I stopped a UPS truck on our neighborhood earlier today and asked him if he had a shipment for us. He looked it up on his gizmo and said that it must be on a different guy's route. He also mentioned that the other driver usually does the 5 o'clock route. hmmm. I hope that we do not have to wait too long after 4:30.

Rush hour traffic to Roseville would be crazy, but it will not deter us from making the 20 mile drive to get our baby girl.

just doing some last minute cleaning around the house before she gets home. BUT, I don't think that I will EVER finish that feat. The mess goes and comes and goes and comes... and the "honey-doo's" NEVER end, either.

I will be off from work all next week; it will work out great since I will be the primary babysitter until the job market nabs me. If it were up to me, I would be the primary bread winner, but I am thankful for my dear wife for stepping up to the plate and bringing home the bacon. Hey, they wanted equal rights, right... so, no complaining!

I love my wife. I love my baby girl, Belen...

oh yeah. Oreo and Mocha are a handful, as well. I took them to the dog park this morning and we played ball for almost an hour. good times.

3 hours of sleep... Priceless.

Today, Jen and I are at the hospital next to Belen inside NICU parent room 1B. It is 7:05 in the am and have been awake for about an hour. I arrived here at the hospital around 2am, fell asleep around 3 and, yes, I woke up around 6.

It is a special day because Belen might be allowed to go home today. I was scheduled to be at work at the Home Depot from 1-9pm today and 2-10 pm tomorrow, but I asked to be off both days simply because I need to be here for my daughter on her first day at home. I am anticipating Belen coming home today. I want to be with her on her first day at home. She is tucked in her bed right now. We changed her diaper, then fed her since 6 this morning.

Mom breast fed her for nearly 20 minutes then she took in almost 20cc's from the bottle. She is resting and sleeping, now. I could hear her sweet squirms, quiet breathing and some unique sounds as she fell asleep. (Mom just woke) Are you going to change her, she just asked. I'm not going to feed her til she starts crying, I said and immediately we hear a cute, sudden baby "waaah". I laugh! (Mom just went back to sleep)

Another special moment was captured this past Tuesday. I was here at the hospital visiting Belen doing a routine father/daddy care time. She drank 90cc's or mL for the first time. She drank them straight out of the bottle as I held her. I fed my baby all this milk... I was cheering her on because the nurse had told me that it would be the most she's ever fed if she finishes the next 30 mil's. The first bottle was full at 60.

I was very happy, not necessarily because she broke her all time record(up to that point) but because I had been struggling in getting her to feed. I was feeling a bit discouraged and wondered if I would be able to ever get her to eat. On previous attempts, I was lucky if I could get her to drink half a bottle. It's a scary thing because she is still learning to eat, swallow and breathe at the same time. She tends to choke on the milk and this causes her to turn red, in turn she may stop breathing.... It's a scary deal. I had to call the nurse because I noticed that she was turning red; by the time the nurse came, Belen had continued on her breathing, but not before she handed me a scare.

Learning to care for Belen has been a treat and that is a primary reason why we are here at the hospital next to her. It is customary for parents to stay in a room with their baby a day or two before the baby's discharge. Parents use this time as a practice run and since the baby's have just graduated to this point, the nurses are here just in case we have any questions and to perform routine check-ups. Basically, it is time for mom and dad to spread their own wings and take it from here. yeah...

There are no instructions when the baby's go home. It is up to mom and dad to be exactly that... mom and dad.

The feeling is both scary and exciting and I would not trade it for anything in this world. I love my baby girl and learning to be a daddy is a priceless moment. I love holding her and whispering to her about how my day went and about my goals and dreams. She listens to me for a few moments with her eyes wide open, then immediately falls asleep. lol... I know her sweet spirit understands me and hopes that my dreams to be able to provide for my family succeed.

Looking directly into her eyes wide open brings me this feeling of hope. Heavenly Father has allowed me to be a parent and He knows that I am capable and ready to do this. I know this because He would not have allowed it to happen if He did not think that I were ready... If you know who I am, you would hope to agree simply because of the experiences that I faced or failed to face in my past.

This beautiful girl depends on mom and dad for all of her daily needs. I feel it a privelege that she has been sent here for love and to teach. I hope that I will be a great parent; I know that I will always love her and I hope that I will also be wise in the things that I choose to teach her.

I don't understand why people always told us to "get plenty of sleep, because you're going to need it" or commenting on how we should get as much sleep as we can. WHY? It's not like we will be able to tap into some type of reserve and fuel our bodies with stored "sleep" when our baby keeps us awake in the early AM.

Yeah. that's a useless thing to do; furthermore, I can be more productive without all this "sleep" that I'm supposed to be getting.


With only three hours of sleep since I arrived here this morning, this moment is simply "priceless" and I will sleep when I am sleeping. get out of here!

Baby Shower

Belen's baby shower was yesterday at 1pm. I spent all week preparing for the festive day. First, I made sure that the yard was clean. I had been working on our backyard for some time now. It still lacks some tlc. I picked up leaves on our front porch and lawn. I rearranged some of the flower pots and simply cleaned up the area. The entrance into our home seems much nicer than the overall view of our backyard.

Jen and I spent Friday cleaning the interior of our home. We cleaned each room, one at a time, beginning in our bedroom, the baby room and slowly progressing towards the livingroom. Jen left to spend time with Belen at the usual time. We, she typically leaves home around 10:30 am and returns home around 1 or 2...

I think that I finished installing new sliding closet doors inside Belen's room on Thursday. The older ones were outdated.

Melissa arrived around 11:30 am, Vanessa about an hour later... Other people arrived shortly after 1. Our neighbors, the Schrimps, loaned us some chairs. I don't know exactly how many ladies showed up because I took Oreo and Mocha to the dog park.

I stayed at the dog park til about 3pm. We parked at the soccer field, then walked to the dog park. Oreo and Mocha have a great time. Oreo seems to enjoy scouting the area on his own and can often be found wandering the perimeter. Mocha is more of a social butterfly and especially likes to chase the smaller dogs and play catch, not fetch. I throw the slimy tennis ball directly up into the air and Mocha jumps nearly six feet up in the air to catch the ball. I think she's part kangaroo.

pictures from this week

Belen holding my finger

Belen relaxing

our first picture all together!

our little frog...stuck on daddy's belly!

good days, bad days

I went to visit Belen on my own this morning as Lucio was taking Mocha to the vet for a vaccination. When I arrived there was no parking close by so I had to walk all the way from the parking structure. Belen was sleeping soundly when I peeked into her isolette. While the nurse was working on Belen's neighbor, the doctor came by and said they were going to increase her feeding amounts to 21 ml every 3 hrs and also add milk fortifier for extra calories and minerals. The goal is to fatten her up. She was 2 lb, 15 oz yesterday so she probably hit 3 lbs today!

The highlight of each visit is, of course, getting to hold Belen. The nurse got her ready and placed her in my arms...my little munchkin. Yesterday I tried recreational breastfeeding for the first time. It's called recreational because the goal is not to get milk for nutrition but to just practice sucking. Yesterday it went pretty well. Belen seems to know what to do! She was sucking off and on and getting some milk. Well, she got more than she could handle I guess 'cause a few minutes later she spit everything up! My first spit up experience! After that she wasn't really interested in milk anymore, so I just laid her on my chest and we rested while daddy read us a story.

Today didn't go as well. I got her situated and she started to suck, but it only lasted a couple minutes before she spit up. (I put out too much milk too fast!) In addition, her oxygen level lowered and set off the alarm. Then her heart rate went down. Both went back up, so not too worrisome. The nurse came in and helped to clean her up and instructed me on how to move her to an upright position to burp her. I was scared to move her cause she seems so delicate! After a little rest I thought I'd try the other side, but that only lasted for a couple minutes as well. Belen was tired. I moved her back up so she could sleep, but she kept setting off alarms...low oxygen, low heart rate. The nurse gave us one more chance, but the little stinker did it again and she had to go back in her isolette. Once she was settled, she was fine-sleeping soundly once again. I was a little bummed that we didn't get to cuddle for very long, but I guess that's just part of the preemie experience.

To finish our visit, I sat by her and opened one of the portholes and read her a story. The story was about a fast little colt who just wanted to run and play. He didn't want to hang out with his grandpa because he was slow. Until one day he gets lost in the woods and his grandpa finds him. Grandpa horse tells him sometimes you have to slow down and spend more time with family. It was at this point I started to cry. I want to spend more time with my little girl, but it's difficult. She spends most of the day closed up in her isolette, sleeping. The nurses do care time every 3 hours. It's at this time we can help take her temperature, change her diaper and talk to her. At this point we can only hold her or do rec. breastfeeding once a day, so we've been going once a day. Any more than that and we spend most of the time sitting while she sleeps. Maybe when she gets out of the incubator and is feeding out of the bottle, staying longer will make more sense. Even though I know she won't remember any of this time, I still feel bad that I can't be there taking care of her all the time. But I know that time will come soon enough and will last for the rest of my life!

To complicate life even more, Lucio is still without work and our expenses have increased. Adding Belen to my insurance at work was more costly than I thought it would be. We are going to have a hard time making ends meet without some serious budgeting of funds. I also worry about having to go back to work this semester. My sick leave is not going to allow me to stay out past April. I don't know when I should go back to work, I don't know when Belen will be home. I don't know how the kids are going to react to me coming back. All this is causing me mucho stress!

I know I shouldn't worry so much. I should put things in perspective and realize that things will work out fine. Every time we drive anywhere, there are homeless people at the intersections asking for money. It makes me sad to see. It also makes me thankful for all that I do have.

We have received lots of goodies for the baby from our friends. The Dowds and Todiras gave us boxfuls of clothes and blankets. Many others have given us gifts. My work friends held a baby shower for me on Tuesday...that was a lot of fun. My aunt and cousin got us our stroller/car seat combo. My mom got us a bassinet. Many friends from church have brought us dinners the last couple weeks. I must send thanks to all these wonderful people. We are truly blessed to have such great friends and family. We love you!!!

First Kiss

Jen and Belen share a moment together at the NICU. Jen first held Belen on February 16.










I first held Belen on February 21 at the NICU. Holding my baby for the first time was a moment that I never wanted to end. She did make me weep for a moment. Mom was not around to see it because she was busy getting Belen some milk in another room. LOL... Jen took this picture moments after stepping in the room.



Dad's first kiss. This little girl has a hold of my heart like none other. There are no words to describe the moment, one I will cherish forever.

De La Cruz Universum

I recently created "De La Cruz Universum" on Facebook. I wanted to see how many people with the last name "De La Cruz" I could get to join. So far, 79 people with the same last name have joined. My wife thinks I'm crazy and I could be doing something better with my time.

Fact is, I love the idea of uniting people together. The fact that we share the same last name and we live in different nations is by far the coolest thing. Sure, at first I did not think much of it, but now that it has begun to spread, I feel drawn to all these people. I actually feel like I am doing something good.

I have read some of their stories and comments and I am fascinated, thrilled and amused by them. Many of us share similar names and qualities but I know that we are all unique.

I have decided to make a mission statement which I hope others will embrace. Who knows, maybe something real good will come out of this. I am a father for less than a week, Belen is beautiful and somehow I feel that she has inspired me to create "De La Cruz Universum."

Here are my remarks:

Some of you have asked me who am I...? I am who you would want others to have me be, I am you at your best, I am you when you are seeking a second chance, I am a child, sibling and a parent, and I am a person of hope.

I am special and my goal is to unite us all through this entity; my mission is that we all learn to love one another, and spread peace, humanity and charity amongst our fellow brethren.

As a De La Cruz, we should hold strong to the symbolic meaning of our name. We are "Of the Cross" children of God and our goal is simply to be a good example to all men, because ALL good things do come from God.

I love God and I love my fellow brethren. Let us be today's example and tomorrow's heroes; let us exemplify the meaning Life, Love, Peace and Charity...

I invite all "De La Cruz" families, must have the last name either through birth, blood, marriage or adoption to join De La Cruz Universum and be willing to live a life that represents our mission to the fullest.

Care Time

The latest from the nurse at NICU: we're at room air. good. feedings not doing well because of prematurity. have to watch closely. gave baby suppository to get poop. baby tolerated food before. today baby is 1080 grams(2Lbs 6oz). Next care time is 11:30. 2:30, 5:30 or 8:30. be here 15 minutes before care time so that we can watch, assist, learn; takes about 1/2 hour. baby goes back to sleep immediately after care time.

The following pictures were taken by "Mommy" on February 11, 2010. Belen is 3 days young. Yay!

A day with Belen

Following a routine breast pumping session, I walk down with my little bottle of milk to the NICU to spend some time with Belen. She's not feeding directly from me, yet, so the nurses use a syringe to give Belen a tiny amount of milk through her feeding tube every three hours. (at this point, a tiny amount means a couple of drops)

Today was exciting because I got to take her temperature and change her tiny diaper for the first time. To take the temperature you just have to hold the probe securely under her arm for a little while. Diaper changing is more daunting. The nurse showed me how to hold her legs up, get the new diaper ready and take off the old one. There was a nasty meconium poop on the old diaper. I used a little wipey on her bottom and carefully wiped her teenee behind. I was very nervous to touch her...she is so small and fragile. Even the premie diapers are big for her! She was a good girl while I changed her though and wasn't too squirmy. Belen does cry sometimes but it's not loud, it's just little squeaks. She's my little birdie.

Afterwards, the nurse began preparing Belen for the incubator. Belen wears a premie mask over her eyes to protect her from the blue phototherapy light. The light helps to break down Bilierubin which is a byproduct of red blood cell breakdown. Usually the liver breaks the old red blood cells, but because she is so small, they start to accumulate on her skin. It makes the babies look yellow; the special light treats Belen from developing Jaundice.

Lucio is still sick so he has to stand outside the window and watch. He is sad because he cannot be inside next to his precious daughter; the good thing about that is that he got to see Belen's eyes for the first time. She was facing towards the window and I was on the other side of the bassinett. She opens her eyes sometimes. At this age, her vision is not well developed yet, but we like to think that she can see us. I talk to her while I'm there. The nurses keep saying she knows my voice.

It is a difficult thing to see her there. I often feel the tears welling up in my eyes. She is my little baby and I love her sooooo much. I can't believe how much she means to me and how so many other things seem less important now.

I, Lucio, rolled Jen on a wheelchair down to the NICU. I wear a blue facemask over my mouth to keep the germs from flying all over. I don't think that I should be wearing it anymore, but Jen insists. I told Jen that I should not enter the hallway at the NICU because the doctors do not want me there. Jen thought it was ok.

Jen walks inside Belen's room and I wait outside in the hallway. Moments later a lady approaches, asks me if I have a cold for obvious reasons and says that they do not allow people with colds in that area. I told her not the be mad at me; my wife said it was ok. I get off the wheelchair and walk outside of the NICU and back to Jen's room. I was upset!

I just want to be close to my baby. I don't want her to think that I do not want to be with her. I know that she can sense Jen and she probably did see me outside the glass, so she knows that we are both there next to her. I am thankful for the nurses who are there at her bedside 24/7.

Belen Maria

I wrote the following thoughts about the birth of our daughter Belen Maria on February 09, 2010:

Today, at 9:17 am, Belen Maria was born. "Congratulations," the anesthesiologist gently informed Jen and I, immediately as Belen first entered into the room. These huge bright, round lights illuminated the room, but amazingly did not blind our sight. Jen's body was momentarily without feeling from her chest down as the doctors and nurses performed a c-section and brought Belen into our hearts.

A sheet kept Jen and I from viewing the operation, but a part of me was not in a hurry to witness this grand miracle orchestrate itself. I don't know if I would have collapsed or not had I witnessed Belen's arrival; you hear about the blood and the nasty gore that spills about; my mind was mostly aiming at keeping Jen comfortable and at bay. I could see the worry in Jen's face and the puffiness around her eyes told the story of a concerned mother.

They placed the tiny body on a special bassinett and the doctor and specialists immediately began taking care of Belen. Their goal was to bring Belen to breathe on her own. As tiny as she is and the early arrival is an obvious reason for her lungs to be fighting for air. Hearing the words, "good heartbeat," and "she's breathing now!" brought comfort to my soul.

Though they did succeed in getting Belen to breahte, they needed to place a breathing tube through her mouth so that it would assist her with the breathing. She is small and her lungs are not fully able to do all the breathing on their own. They will do as much as possible until her body gains the necessary strength. They will monitor Belen closely for the next month and do their best to prepare her to leave the hospital and into our humble abode.

The first glimpse towards Belen directed me to see her tiny feet. They were juggling around in thin air and my heart stopped beating for a moment. I turned to Jen and told her the small miracle that I had just witnessed. She choked for a moment then her eyes turned watery. I could see the love that she expressed toward Belen, our firstborn. "We are parents now," I lovingly said to her.

They took Belen to the NICU and Jen to the recovery room; I followed easefully behind Jen. We stayed there til about noon nearly three hours after Belen's birth. I was allowed to see Belen only from outside the NICU window, literally outside the building, because of the rare cold that I have, unfortunately, acquired. "Can you believe that I hardly ever get sick?" The time for this unfortunate cold to invade my body occurs only days before Belen's arrival and I am not happy about this unexpected virus, but since Belen's health is way more important than my miserable cold, I must sacrifice not being able to stand at her side and to hold my precious gift.

I can't believe how much I love her. This is simply unexplainable.

Among our guest today in order of their arrival:

Natasha Wunderlich- she totally went out of her way by showering Belen with multiple gifts and she even brought Jen a breast milk pump. We are truly blessed to have Natasha here at our side.

Mom, Dad and Gabriel. Mom and dad flew in from Dallas, yesterday, and arrived a day before Belen. I am very happy that they are here because it had been a very long time since I had seen them. I speak to them on the phone at least once a week, but it is simply great to have them here with us. Unfortunately, Belen will have to remain at the hospital for at least a month so they will not be able to see her at home. Mom and dad's trip here will be short lived because Ricky has already booked their flight tickets back to San Antonio.

Mom got Belen a "My First (pink)Teddy" bear and a baby stork carrying a baby bear. Very cute!
Yesterday, mom got us a porcelain angel being held by a set of hands. It is prety cool...

Gabriel, Adriana and the girls were here yesterday. Gabriel drove our parents over from his house today and he simply brings an amuzing spirit into our room. I love my brother.

Tucker, Melissa and McKenna Dowd. The Dowd's arrived shortly before 4pm. Tucker and I walked down to the NICU so that we could get a peek at Belen but we were not fortunate enough to see her. They moved her from the area where I had earlier stood and A rent-a-cop showed up and asked us not to be in this vicinity because the nurses did not like people hanging around outside and looking in at the tiny bodies. I did not want to make a big deal (Doctor Buxton had taken me to that exact area earlier so that I could see Belen, and she even said that I could bring people there) so Tucker and I headed back to room 341.

Tucker and Melissa brought us a load of goodies for my tummy, yesterday before noon.

Sarah Turner: Jen's visiting teacher stopped by for a few minutes. She brought Jen a crossword puzzle and a pocket held Tetris game. She offered a small and sincere prayer and as she did, I was reminded how great it is to have great friends and family amidst us. I enjoyed playing on Level 1 of the Tetris game for a short while.

Dale, Hannah and Joey: They brought me Quiznos. Yay! They stopped to see how we were all doing, as well.

We have been extremely blessed by our Father in Heaven. He has placed us at the right hospital and with the right staff. Everyone here at Kaiser-Roseville is totally amazing and we are fortunate to be here surrounded by their constant care.

Words cannot express how much I love Belen and I can't even begin to say enough about Jen. I never will, I'll never end but I will begin by saying that Jen is amazing.